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Thursday, June 22, 2006


HM. I AM NOT IN LONDON RIGHT? WHY AM I SAYING THAT THE LONDON BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN. NOW, I AM FEELING LIKE MY EMOTIONS ARE GONE. I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPINESS ANYMORE. I AM ALREADY DEAD EMOTIONALLY. WHERE HAVE MY HAPPINESS GONE TO. I DONT KNOW. GOD PLEASE SHOWER ME WITH HAPPINESS ONCE MORE. PLEASE.... WELL. THINGS ISNT GOING WELL FOR ME. I WANNA DO THE FAST PRAYING BUT I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW IT GOES YET HAVE TO ASK MY YOUTH LEADER FIRST. SO GONNA WAIT. MY FAMILY LOST CONTACT WITH MY UNCLE HE WENT TO INDONESIA LAST WEEK. I WANNA GO FIND HIM. SOB... EM. ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO FIND HIM? TELL ME. K? I DONT KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU HAVE ACTUALLY REALLY LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN THE WAY OF DYING. MY FATHER DIED WHEN I WAS 9. MY MOM BROUGHT ME UP. I DONT KNOW HOW DOES LOVE FROM A FATHER FEELS LIKE ANYMORE. SOMETIMES I JUST WISH THAT I WANNA GO VISIT. BUT HOW? DADDY, I LOVE YOU. STILL LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. I KNOW YOU CANNOT HEAR IT AND IT IS FORBIDDEN FOR CHRISTIAN TO TALK TO THE DEAD BUT I REALLY MISS MY FATHER. FATHER IN HEAVEN SHOW ME MORE OF YOUR FATHERLY LOVE. PLEASE. I GOT LOTS OF WISHES GRANT THEM FOR ME PLEASE.


OK. WANNA KNOW WHAT I THINK I AM NOW? I THINK I AM A SUBMARINE. A BROKEN ONE. IT CANNOT FLOAT ONTO THE SURFACE IT IS UNDER THE SEA. WAITING FOR SOME ONE TO MEND IT FIRST. HM. I WANNA BE LIKE SUPER MARIO. I WANNA GET 1 UP, MY ONE UP IS FOR MY MOOD NOT LIFE. I FEEL LIKE CUTTING. I ACCIDENTLY CUT MYSELF WHEN I WAS PACKING SOMETHING JUST NOW AND I MISSED THE FEELING WHEN I USED TO CUT. IT IS A SIN IN BIBLE IF YOU ABUSE YOUR BODY. SO I AINT GOING TO ABUSE IT PURPOSELY. WHAT IS LOVE? I CANNOT FEEL LOVE AROUND ME NOWADAYS. NOT EVEN GOD'S LOVE. I FELT AS IF I AM A CHILD THAT NOBODY LOVE.

I WANNA BE YOUNG AGAIN. I WANT ALL THE ATTENTION TO ME. I NEED LOVE.
I AM HUNGRY FOR LOVE..
I AM HUNTING LOVE.
I AINT NO TIGER.
HOW TO HUNT?
I DONT HAVE JAWS HOW TO HUNT?
HIAKZ HIAKZ.

GOT TO GO. WANNA GO HOME AND SLEEP ALL MY SADNESS OFF.

THIS IS AN UPDATE:
WELL IT'S NOW ALMOST 3 PM CAME BACK TO OFFICE FOR A WHILE ALREADY. CANNOT SLEEP AT HOME CAUSE MY COUSIN. DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN LA. SHE IS MORE MOODY THAN I AM. I JUST FEEL SAD. FEEL THAT AS IF I AM AN HOLLOW SHELL. CRY? NO. THE TEARS JUST WONT COME OUT. I DONT KNOW WHETHER I HAVE REALLY DIE OFF EMOTIONALLY AS I FEEL LIKE CRYING MAYBE I AM JUST UNHAPPY AND HAVEN'T DIE EMOTIONALLY. I AM TIRED. JUST LET ME NAG ALL MY THOUGHTS HERE. K? I AM STRESS LA. I WANT BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL TO MAKE MYSELF WAKE UP. I WENT HOME JUST NOW AND FORGOT TO EAT. NOW I FEEL HUNGRY BUT DONT FEEL LIKE EATING. I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN. AM I MENTALLY SICK? I DONT KNOW.

JUST NOW WHEN I WENT TO PICK MY MOM. I WENT TO COLLECT MY PENCIL CASE FROM MY DEAR FIRST THEN WENT TO HOCK LOEE TO BUY SOMETHING THEN WHEN I WAS ON THE WAY TO PICK HER, I DIDNT BUCKLE MY SEAT BELT AS MY MOM OFFICE IS NEAR WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO ARRIVE I WANNA CALL MY MOM, THE MOMENT I DIAL HER NUMBER AND PUT THE PHONE NEAR MY EAR. I SAW THE POLICE CAR. I WAS LIKE SHIT AND THROW THE PHONE ON MY LAP. LUCKILY THE POLICE DIDNT STOP ME. THANK GOD. MUACKZ TO YOU GOD. HIHI. IF NOT HAVE TO RASUAH THE POLICE. HA HA. MY FRIEND HAD RASUAH THE POLICE WITH 5 RINGGIT BEFORE AND NOW MY PURSE ONLY LEFT SOMETHING LIKE 5 I THINK. I THOUGHT I HAVE TO DO THAT TOO. BUT NAH... THE POLICE IS GOOD ENOUGH TO LET ME GO. I THINK MAYBE THE POLICE SEE ME VERY GUAI. LOL. AS IF. BUT I AM A GOOD GIRL BA. RIGHT?

JUST DONT FEEL LIKE WORKING AND KEEP BLOGGING. JUST NOW WENT HOME AND TALK TO UNCLE LIWE FOR A WHILE, MOSTLY WE WERE TALKING ABOUT OUR HEAVENLY FATHER. MY MOM ASKED ME TO GIVE ANNA MY FIRST BIBLE. I AM WILLING TO DO SO CAUSE MAYBE RYAN GONNA BUY ME A NEW ONE. BUT THERE IS A QUESTION IS OUR RELATIONSHIP GOING TO LAST????? THAT IS CURRENTLY MY BIGGEST QUESTION MARK. WE HAVE BEEN SO COLD TO EACH OTHER AND KEEP QUARRELLING. OK. NOW I GOT TO DO SOME ASSIGNMENT.
BYE.
SIGNING OFF AT 3.14PM MIGHT COME BACK AGAIN.


with l0v3, The only tame shark
1:06 PM